My neighbor is a cunt.  She is a tall tale teller.  She has accused numerous people in the area of leering at children.  She told us last summer a white van was driving around trying to kidnap people. (the urban legand is true!)

She accused one neighbor of ordering drugs from Mexico and selling them here in the US.  This was because fed ex came to the neighbors house daily. 

 She has called the police on her inlaws saying they hit her.

She has called the police saying her tenants have broken into her house.

 She now has it out for me.  She has told some tales about me.  I have been shrugging it off.  Now she has decided not to greet me.  I asked her why she was angry with me.  She replied that she was going to call Child Services on me since I leave my child unattended in a wading pool from Walmart.  My child is 3.5.  I actually love the big blowup pool and perhaps she has noticed I am in it unattended! We use this pool so much. 

She is a stay at home mom who is overweight and frumpy and looks just like the blonde Mormon chick on “Big Love”. She never leaves her house and keeps her children in the house.

My husband talked to the cunt and told her you cannot make threats about our child.  I thought this would shut the cunt up.  It is sad since there are so few resources for child in real abuse cases and I am sure people like Cunt clog up a lot of the time and energy on false claims.

 Well today Cunt decides to relocate all her trash cans to the side of my house.  We live in the city and share a small area between houses.  Her yard and area are digusting.  I am not sure why Cunt has decided to relocate them today.  I move them back to her driveway.  In a few hours the spell of diapers, and dog shit is causing bugs to come into my house.

I talk to her poor husband and explain what Cunt did while he was at work.  I am again being nice and neighborly when inside I am fuming.

I come back from a lovely walk at the beach with my family and Cunt has moved a wading pool and is resting it against my house! Trash cans are inches away my house AGAIN. 

I loudly move the Cunts pool to her driveway.  Stupid Cunt is unaware of the city ordinance of trash being within 5 feet of a house. She also is so stupid she thinks she must own my house and can rest things upon it???

Cunt better hope that tomorrow she will keep to herself, wading pool, trash and all.  I actually will call the police as this is harrassment.

I need to move to Alaska and out of this rough and tumble trash city! I guess people like Cunt are wherever you go.

 People annoy me.

-Old women who write checks at the store.

-Street beggars who ask for my spare change while puffing away on a ciggy! Hello-they are like $6.00 a pack in MA

-People who buy lottery tickets that drive 1985 Plymouths or 1982 Lincoln Town Cars.  Making me wait in line for them at the corner store while they buy $400.00 worth of lottery tickets.

The gross guys who yell at me everynight when I run! Or the old gross guys who stare at my tits in the market in the freezer section.  SORRY it is cold!

Poor people who buy lottery tickets and scratch tickets then expect me to contribute to them when they are on the ’till’. 

My city government who have made the taxes on all my houses and water bills DOUBLE in a year!

People on welfare…they fucking annoy the hell out of me!

Stay at home moms who have NO life and look like shit.

My neighbor who lets their dog bark over and over.!

Fat, lazy people who stay inside when the weather is nice! If it is nice you should be outside!

My inlaws.  No sure reason why but my mother in law just annoys the hell out of me. 

When N sees the bad boy in traffic and I am all excited that she spotted him in traffic.

When it rains in the summer!!!

N and I went up to the Cape.  Finally, I have been able to enjoy my house in the

Finally we made it up to be greeted by 48 degree windy weather.  In mid June.  We had planned to bike the rail trail.  The first day up there we got on the trail it was 40 degrees.  We bike about 10 miles before it got to dark.

We went back to the house and got dressed and went out to dinner.  We had no expectations for an exciting night on the town.  We thought we would check out a few bars after dinner and be home by 11pm.  We needed to get a good nights sleep since we were going to bike a lot the next day!

We trolled a few locals bars and there was no one there. 

We hit Hyannis and it there was a big crowd. 

We were in the door 10 minutes when some 20 year olds decided to talk to us.  They remained permanent fixtures all night by our side–never discouraged when the local yocal landscapers and painter type Cape “lifers” tried to chat to us.  Round after round they bought for themselves—never once offering us a drink.  N and I never buy ourselves drinks –a cardinal rule! Never have we been out in Boston and bought drinks. Well we did that night.  The kids were 24 years old and cute but cheap little fuckers.  We were invited back to their house on numerous occasions to “party.” We declined each and every time. They wanted a ride home.  HELLO, to even ask after you did not buy us drinks –.  We made a quick exit telling them we had our car seats for our kids in the car and our husbands at home.  We ran out the door, flattered but yet insulted.  I ended up giving one of the Canadian kids Ns phone #, as a joke.  She is now the recipient of text messages.  These kids were so cheap they could never even call her! I guess the roaming charges on the cell phone would cost him too much.  I guess now guys or so I have been told are not into spending money on women.  If they want to get laid they better start.  It was a golden rule and still is amongst my single friends— a man must pay!

Shitfaced and at home we engaged in our late night prank calls! N is still getting calls back!

In any case the next day we biked about 30 miles and I am not even sore.  YAH!

Rain and more rain….

Saturday afternoon-child free I venture to the gym.  After the gym I figure I will get a manicure.  I always go to the inner city cheapo salons. Generally I like the prices and the quality of the work.  The city I am in has a salon on every block.  I get a simple manicure and am on my way with minimal cost.  I am not a big fan of having men do my nails.  Most of the men who work at these salons own them.  They do not appear passionate about their careers. How they ended up in this business I wonder?  More often than not, I end up with smeared polish and more hang nails than if Freddie Kreuger did my nails, when a man does my manicure.  Plus, I feel just plain old creeped out about a man rubbing lotion and massaging my hands.

Today I made my way to the salon.  There were the severely large women getting their nails done and the local crack whore, over tanned middle aged women who talk with a Jack Daniels and cigarette voice.  (throw in a thick Boston accent as well).  The severely obese women seem to care the most about their nails.  They dress in sweats since they are so fat to fit into anything else.  They have work of art air brushed onto their hands and toes.  Imagine if they spend they money on healthy food and gym membership!

I ask for my manicure and a little Asian man states he can help me.  I ask for a women but I think he ignored me or did not hear me.  I figure what the hell and let him do my hands.  I end up leaving creeped out from his hand massage, his many questions as to where I live and with a nail polish job my three year old could of done.  Argh!

After all the bullshit I have gone through the past month I decided to go out in Boston with a friend and coworker.  Off I went on a Sat night to a private party at a Boston Club.  Finding a place to park my car in the theatre district posed a challenge.  I was veering down a side street when a man in a wheel chair came out of no where.  He was screwing around trying to make me hit him.  Well of course I did not fall for the oldest staged trick and avoided him.  I went around him and pulled into the garage.  The fucker rolled into me saying I hit him.  Godamn can I avoid anything?  Well I called 911 and filed a report. 

The club was cool but my mood was killed by homeless wheel chair scammer— so I called it an early night.  Later I was told the party turned into a sex party.  I am still waiting to hear my friends amazing stories about the evening! I was filled in through out the evening of some of her prior conquests that were in attendance— and needless to say my interest was sparked.  I would of been an observer.  I never think I will be comfortable doing anything in front of anyone–plus my husband is not into that at all.  And he would not go for it if I was!

As a mother of a young toddler I have now had to venture out into the world and explore venues I would never have exposure to if I did not have a child.  Playgrounds and play places and children’s museums are now frequent hot spots.  I also have had the experience of dealing with other parents. I have come to the conclusion I have nothing in common with most of the other women at these spots.  (aka stay at home moms) These are the women who have happily morphed into the 1950s housewife role after giving birth.  They are proud to have quit their jobs, loose their identity and become slaves to their families.  There days are filled with exciting trips to the market and Monday afternoon laundry.

Most of these women claim to be home by choice and proudly tell you every moment they can.  They are always boasting about how their lives are filled with eventful tasks, making dinner for hubby and ironing his clothes.

It seems every where I turn women are settling back into traditional roles that encourage them to give up their identity and pressure them to focus more on domestic tasks.  It is truly sad and pathetic when an educated woman gives up her career and her life to stay at home and live in sweats.

What the fuck is wrong with having it all? You cannot help but feel sorry the once attractive women who has bred 3 kids, her looks and her brain go to hell…and then her husband runs off with another women? 

I am lucky my husband and I share all of the duties 50/50.  We are equals and so many people find this odd, shouldn’t it be the norm?  He puts up with my shit, is cute, in great shape, has a pretty kick as job and does whatever I say.

People are asses.  It seems in life I got through spurts where I get a bunch of them to deal with and then I don’t have to deal with any for a while.  I am in ass bout now.  

Personal involvement people would say I am a ruthless bitch.  Business dealings I can be a bit of a push over.I own rental property and it seems this past winter I have had my share of pains in the asses.  I live in one of them and I tend to not want to fuck with the energy of my house, so I let things slid with the tenants more than I should of.  We have had these people above us and their sub woofer going all winter long.  Parties have been more frequent.  It was to the point where you thought my house was Iraq with all the noise.  It came to a head a few weeks ago when we finally asked them to quiet it down.  I guess we over stepped our bound…hmmmm—since we were to told basically to fuck off when our request was made at 3am —with 20 plus drunks on our porch! I think now they are embarrassed by their behavior (they are mid to late 20s) Now my house is quiet as a mouse since these “tenants” realized they acted like imbeciles.  Needless to say the lease is not being renewed. The jerks have moved out and we have now found a quiet guy….man has our quality of life improved.

I have a 5 family where I have nothing but great people— why cannot I find these type of people to live above me—-nice professional people who act human and are decent productive people!

The other house story I will leave for a rainy day!

OK —Why is it is so hard to find a good porno? 

 I have been looking and looking and there is nothing out there????.  I want to see good looking normal people screw.  Not the nasty ass– Ron Jermy type guys—think more along the lines of Tommy and Pam.  Why are all the men in pornos nasty and ick? I guess the business attracts a certain “type” of man I normally am not that into…BUT STILL! Why is it all girl on girl?  We girls need a bit more—we can watch the girl on girl action for only so long.

Why do porn directors have story lines? They are all for shit.  Eithier make it a good story line or cut it out all together—get straight to what we want to see in a porno…..

There was a porno I bought the other day where the cast was dressed up as space aliens.  Not cool.  On many occasionI will  will watch pornos for the “freak  entertainmentfactor”, (along the same lines of watching South Park, for alaugh) not to get us in the mood.  Some even ruin the mood…

Gay porn they get a little better–I can appreciate tow cute guys a bit more but being I love my straight boys, so I can only watch so much before I get very bored. 

I am a big (or so I thought) S and M girl—until I bought an S and M movie.  It was ick—(girls hitting a big fattie with a paddle)and other things I cannot mention with wanted to vomit.

I so loved it when HBO made the Real Sex series.  They showed some pretty cool things…Cat House is my new fav TV replacement—I used to like “Family Business” on Showtimes–sans  Adams totally bad hair.  The best was when you could get the PlayBoy channel 24/7.  Night Calls kicked ass—many a boy and I watched that and it would make the mood—

I guess I am one more for amateur porn.  The ones attractive couples make……I find myself more drawn to them–as long as the couples are decent looking.

 Now take magazines–Penthouse and Play Boy suck….all they are a guys cosmo–Now Hustler I can love on any day!

STUPID MEN OF THE WEEK—–

N met a Dr she thought was cute at work.  She fawned over him and his good looks for a few weeks.  She liked the 60k BMW he drove.  Her dream was shattered when she caught him stealing pillows from the hospital and a walker for old people. 

J met an amazily hot guy.  He was 6′5 southern and HOT.  He needed help in bed-a bit but the way he talked you would never know.  He also, at 36 years old like to text message more than her 15 year old daughter! He also was a victim of identity theft (this seems to be common amongst men lately) and had his credit card stolen.

P rents her summer house to cute professional guy. Guy seems to like P–P ??-guy never can pay on time– Guys trys to burn house down when he lights fire in wood stove w/o opening a flue, steals P’s old TV, sublets to pot smoking 19 year olds claiming he owns the house with her-after he takes $ from them, guy get all utlities shut off–even cable, even owes Blockbuster, guy keeps having all past due bills sent to P’s address,–guy is the biggest loser P ever met, P thinks the situation is odd a 3osomething guy is renting a house and owns nothing— P and her friends laugh and remember NEVER to judge a book by it’s cover His life is pathetic enough that he will get his!

My ex husband  I met by default.  I was dating his friend who I thought was super hot and I still remember the guy….. I was 18 and met him at the beach– the summer of 1992. He was in the Navy—very, very tall, built and blond– my “type”.  I married him after 6 months of knowing him and moved to another state far away from my hometown.  It was about 2 months into the marriage I realized he was an imbecile.  My mother kept warning me from the start…

Some fond or not so fond memories I recall –

-He likes to buy snowmobiles that break.  Two or three a year.  He will sell them to his family and then buy them back from them when they need to pay their bill–always  where the family makes a profit.

-He enjoys building fishing shanties and displaying them on his lawn.  He like to paint them green and blue. 

-He once got mad at me since I did not support his dream to drive “truck”.  I instead encouraged him to go to college with his GI bill.  This has since expired and the money has gone unused since he was too lazy to finish school.  I mean trade school!! He also once went 2 years without medical insurance that was free from his employer..since he was too lazy to fill out the paperwork.

-Cousin Leland was my ex husbands half cousin.  His mom was a carnie–(worked in a traveling carnival) so he and his 5 or 6 brothers and sisters were often living at my exs mothers house since she could not provide food and shelter for them..

Cousin Leland drove truck.  He had a collage of other jobs but always seemed to end up driving truck.  He had a GED and a full set of fake teeth at the age of 24.  He used to like to eat steak without his teeth.  He thought it was cool. Often the family would meet up at the local truckers stop—called the “Skillet”.  This was not a vegan friendly place –they served up their slop in Skillets.  Cousin Leland using his carnie side show skills would entertain the family by eating his steak without his teeth in! Cousin Leland and his teen bride had a few kids. One time I recall him leaving one of them in a swing tied to a big old tree outside during black fly season–forgetting about the child… while he was on a rare childcare duty. (for hours) He used to quit his jobs so he could join my ex on hunting and snowmobile trips.  Once he returned his kids gifts at Xmas so he could buy himself a new snowmobile.   I now hear the teen bride is in prison and he has custody of the kids. 

-He hunts deer and hangs them on his wall.  As a boy he hunted squirrels and then gave them to his grandmother who ate them.  Once he got lost in the woods with cousin Leland and we had to call the police to find them.

-he likes to start businesses—he bought a  tee shirt maker off late night TV and thought he was going to make and sell t-shirts,(this was after we split up and he had more free time) he bought a 4k portable hot tub he thought he was going to rent to people..he did this once and then called it quits…he thinks he can whittle things out of wood–(they look like a handicraft done at the local mental hospital)

-he likes to partake in Demolition Derbies..a favorite hill billy pastime–of driving old broken cars into each other at fairs–

-I tried to work it out with this man so many times.  Back and forth from coast to coast…some times we had fun but more often than not after a day I found myself wanting to kill him.  Many a time I can recall a time when I went postal on him trying to make him understand the nonhick way of life.  I have cracked chairs over his back, hit him and smashed up derby cars with baseball bats.  Never once did he come after me. 

After my move back to Boston I got on with my life –I was still married but dating so many guys -nothing worked out with anyone since I was still heart broken and I guess in love in some demented way with him –so I liked having him in the back ground to call and visit when things didn’t work out with other boys–which there were lots of back then– Why?? He took a lot of my youth!

I would invite him out to Boston from time to time and we would have fun from time to time. I thought he was cute–tall and blonde—were big factors there–and I dehillified him when he was on Mass turf..  I thought we were going to get back together again.  I knew it was over when after about a year apart he came back out to Boston –I picked him up at the airport and he wore a shirt with ducks on it from Walmart and brought a duck call hunting whistle to show me he used when hunting turkeys.  It was then I put his ass back on the plane and filed for divorce!!